Book Excerpt
“I’ve learned a
lot about what it means to be human,” I-pod said. “All your emotions,
especially love and hate - these concepts are very confusing to my kind. For several years, as I scanned those minds
that I could get into, I believed that emotions distracted humans from reaching
their potential. So much time and effort
is spent on pair bonding, finding someone to love, seemed so inefficient to
me. But then something strange
happened. Every morning one of the
guards would come to work and tell everyone that he came into contact with,
what he called the joke of the day. I
was amazed at how much joy they got from this.
They’d laugh and so would he each and every time he told it. But to me they were just words strung
together. He told a hundred dumb blonde
jokes and stories about people or animals that walked into a bar, but I just
didn’t understand the humor, until one morning.”
‘What happened?’
“He repeated a
knock knock joke, that his son had learned in school the day before.”
‘I like knock
knock jokes…’
“Here’s the joke that taught me the meaning of
funny,” I-pod said. “Knock knock..”
‘Who’s there?’
Xander responded.
“Atch.”
‘Atch who?’
“Bless you. I’ll
come back when you’re feeling better,” I-pod said.
‘Good one,’
Xander chuckled. ‘A bit of a groaner, but funny.’
“I know,” I-pod
told him, “but it awoke a part of my brain that I didn’t know was there. At first, like all the other jokes I didn’t
get it. Then a few days later, one of
the other guards sneezed, and it clicked.
Atch who, achew, Atch who, achew repeated over and over in my head. I laughed for the first time. The rest of that day I replayed every joke
he’d told in my mind. That was one of
the most enjoyable days of my life. Once
I understood humor, the other emotions began to make sense to me.”
‘I sometimes mess
up the punch line when I tell a joke,’ Xander admitted.
“I know 4,091
jokes,” I-pod said, “including over a
hundred ‘why did the chicken cross the road’ jokes.”
‘To get to the
other side…’ Xander couldn’t help but think of old the punch line.
“’Egg’xactly,”
I-pod responded. “But, do you know why the duck crossed the road?”
‘I don’t
know. Why did the duck cross the road?’
“Because it was
the chicken’s day off,” I-pod laughed.
‘Chicken’s day
off. I get it.’
“Why did the
turtle cross the road?”
‘I don’t know,’
Xander said. ‘Was he racing the chicken or a rabbit, maybe?’
“Good guess, but
no cigar. The turtle crossed the road to get to the shell station,” I-pod
laughed again.
Xander giggled
out loud. ‘I know one you may not have
heard. Do you know why the one-armed man
crossed the road?’
“No, why did the
one-armed man cross the road?”
‘To get to the
second-hand shop.’
“Second-hand
shop,” I-pod repeated. “To get a second hand!”
I-pod’s laughter
rang through Xander’s mind.
“Thank you Xander, now I know 4,092 jokes,” I-pod told him.
About The Book
Author: Wayne A.D. Kerr
Genre: MG Paranormal Adventure
A trip to the top secret military
testing base, commonly known as Area 51, was a dream come true for UFO
obsessed Xander Bookman – until a strange voice invaded his thoughts.
Could the voice really be coming from a joke telling alien, named I-pod,
who desperately needs help to escape from the most secure site on the
planet?
Of the many who tried, only one man had ever successfully breached the heavily guarded facility. A brilliant Soviet spy managed to the impossible, but he never made it home. One got in; zero got out.
Until now…
Join Xander and Yzzie on their most daring adventure yet.
Of the many who tried, only one man had ever successfully breached the heavily guarded facility. A brilliant Soviet spy managed to the impossible, but he never made it home. One got in; zero got out.
Until now…
Join Xander and Yzzie on their most daring adventure yet.
Middle grade readers and adults will enjoy this scary, but fun, action filled, science fiction / paranormal adventure.
The X + Y Files series is ‘The X-Files’ for kids. Xander and Yzzie are the middle grade version of Mulder and Scully.
Author Bio
Wayne A D Kerr was born and raised in
Canada, but has lived in the United States for the past twenty years.
When not writing or reading adventure novels, he is most likely hiking,
biking or playing tennis.
Links
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