zondag 12 november 2017

Book Excerpt A-C-T Like a Kid and T-H-I-N-K Like a Parent


Book Excerpt

26) If You Are Asking On The Day Of The Event, It's Too Late.


As an example, when I was growing up with my parents, I noticed how I was being parented. I also had friends who of course had parents. I had neighbors who also had parents and I had schoolmates who also had parents. My parents' parenting style was different than my friends' parents' parenting style. My friends' parents' parenting styles were different then my neighbors' parenting style. My neighbors' parents' parenting style was also different than, again, my parents' parenting style. But with all these different parents and their many parenting styles, they all had at least this one thing in common. They all hate being asked about stuff at the last minute or put on the spot, so to speak.

It doesn't matter which parents we approached that way, we always got the same answer. And that answer was a big, fat “No”.

When an event came up like a birthday party, a school dance, friends going out to the movies, going out to a friends' house, going to an after school sports event or hanging at the mall, it just didn't matter. Whatever we as kids would want to do, no matter how good and wholesome it was, if we waited until the last minute to get permission to go out to the event, we would each of us be told “no”. It didn't matter which parent was asked, mother or father, the answer would still be “no”. We could have done our chores, our homework, gotten good grades and eaten all of our veggies and we would have still gotten a very unchangeable “no”. No begging, whining, crying, pleading or negotiating, not even if we asked with our friends standing right there would be no difference. But then, there were a few of my friends who were always able to get permission to go to every birthday party, school dance, movie or sporting event. The rest of us thought that their parents were awesome and that our parents were gremlins.

This type of thinking about our parents went on for years until one day while I was being driven home from school by my friends' parents, I heard my friend tell his parents about an event that was going to happen almost a month later. He was actually asking for permission to go to an event at the MET museum in New York City. This was a real field trip. He told them where he would be going, when it would take place, which teachers would be in charge, how much it would cost, when he would be returning, how he would get there and back. His parents said right there on the spot that they didn't see why it would be a problem and that they would think about it and get back to him about it at a later date. I couldn't believe that they practically told him yes, right then and there, a whole month in advance. But that's not the funny part.

The funny part is that when I got home I said to my parents everything that he said about the field trip event to the museum in almost the same way and order even though I knew that my parents would say “no” and guess what happened. My parents said that they would get back to me too. They didn't say no and later that month they got back to me on it. They gave me money for travel and lunch, signed the consent form and let me go on the trip.

So, of course, I explained this all to the rest of my friends and from then on we all got to go to all the events that we wanted to go to. Who knew that by letting our parents know the who, what, when, where, how and why of that particular event, of course ahead of time, that it would actually make a difference in what we would get to do?

You see, what I found out was that parents like to have time to talk over with each other about what their kids wants to do. They like being told about things in advance so that they can look the place up and see who's going to be in charge of us, while we are out there. And they like to budget and to being able to put money aside for us. All to keep us safe and secure, so that we can have a happy good time. And all this stuff that they do goes on behind our backs for everything that they let us do. Even if we don't realize or see it.

By telling our parents about the things that we want to do, we are letting them know that we are smart enough to realize just how much they do for us because they care for us. And that our safety is something that they plan for us daily.

So don't wait til the last minute to ask if can you go somewhere. Give your parents, guardians and caregivers enough time, and information, to make an educated decision. Do it so that they can think about what they need to think about. Do it so that they can have time enough to give responsibly give you permission to do what you want to do. So, again, ask in advance.

About the Book

Title: A-C-T Like a Kid and T-H-I-N-K Like a Parent
Author: C.S. Whitehurst
Genre: Nonfiction self-help
Just for kicks, have you ever wondered what your parents really want from you in life? Is it you, or do your parents want you to have no real fun? On any given day, do you want to make your parents proud of you and still do what makes you feel really happy within yourself? Of course you do! But the real question has always been, and still is…how? How can we actually get this done?
Well, with A-C-T like a Kid and T-H-I-N-K like a Parent, a.k.a “the child-part consoler”, you will get past common misunderstandings by learning how to truly talk, hear, and listen to your parents, guardians or caregivers instead of feeling like you have to run to friends to find some sense of acceptance, understanding, and real connection.
In this book, chock-full of questions and answers gotten directly from the source, you’ll learn what your parents, guardians or caregivers really expect of you—and maybe you’ll even find out how to explain to them what you really expect from them! Not that this book could ever replace a parent, because it can not. But when it comes to openly communicating certain key ideas, this book comes really close.
This tell-all guide contains lots of enlightening explanations and helpful answers to many common kid questions like:
  • What do my parents really want from me?
  • Why do my parents do what they do and say what they say?
  • What do I really need to know about my parents’ parenting skills?
  • How can I keep my parents happy with me?
  • How can I help my parents to help me?
  • How can I get what I want from my parents every time?
A-C-T like a Kid and T-H-I-N-K like a Parent is an intro to the secret knowledge of adults which is a set of informations that is mainly covered in the book entitled Surrogate Re-Parenting: A.K.A. Get Your Mind Right, and even more thoroughly covered in the book The Secret Knowledge Of Adults. While this book, A-C-T like a Kid and T-H-I-N-K like a Parent is intended for kids 10 and up, the info in this book is beneficial and useful to the intelligent kid parts in all of us. Yes, this means you too.
The information in this book will help you and yours to start to see your parents, not as the enemy, but as the caring human beings they really are, and take the first step toward family unity, understanding, growth, success, and happiness! Both you and your parents really deserve this, and with this book, A-C-T like a Kid and T-H-I-N-K like a Parent, you and your parents can actually achieve this.

Author Bios

Katherine Shears is a mom, graduate of Strayer University, and an executive consultant, who is dedicated to bettering the social function and overall visibility of all she encounters. She is a deep thinker with an open mind who stays on the cutting edge of learning, having read over one hundred self-help titles and counting.
C.S. Whitehurst is a psychology-based UX/UI designer/tester, computer programmer, IT Project Manager, and self-help enthusiast, who is a student of science, philosophy, life, and NYU. As a native of New York, having been exposed to social diversity, he has been coached by life to respond to the issues plaguing inner-city youth.

Links

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